Distant happy memories of our past would do me no good. This conversation, our first in the hours since Jack told we were through, was both painful and humiliating. Not yet ready to accept this new reality, I pushed him.
“Why is this the end? Why are you doing this? Do you really not love me?”
Jack took another sip of his whiskey. He didn’t say a word. How could he be so cruel? I thought to myself. Quickly running out of options, I desperately reminded him of the pact we’d made when I’d returned from New York.
“How was your flight?” he asked as I pulled the seatbelt across my chest.
“Good,” I replied. We didn’t say another word until we were back at the condo.
A funny thing happened when we got home. Nobody turned on the television. We sat in the living room and simply talked. It was the first time in a long time that we actually listened to one another. And we both spoke from the heart.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“No, I’m sorry,” he countered. “I’m sorry that I let things get this far out of hand. I’m sorry that I didn’t communicate my frustrations with you earlier. I’m sorry that—”
I interrupted him. Everything was going to be okay. The time away at Jasper’s had allowed me to reassess not only our relationship, but my outlook as a whole. Perhaps I had been acting selfishly. Perhaps I had been negligent with Jack’s feeling.
I presented the Promise Box. He opened the small sterling silver case and began reading each of the 19 vows I’d written. I read aloud with him, meaning every word.
“I promise to put you first… I promise to protect you… I promise to love you…”
Tears streamed down his face. Our entire future seemed perfectly clear in that moment. Everything was going to be okay. I knew it and so did he.
“So the question remains,” I said to Jack, who sat silently listening to this tale of just a few weeks prior, “how did we get to this awful place?”
Jack did not reply
I couldn’t take it anymore. I broke down. Here I was, a grown man reduced to a lump on his living room rug. I shut my eyes as tightly as I could to stop the tears from flowing.
“Please,” I begged, “don’t leave me. I love you. I can’t imagine this without”
Nothing.
I shut my eyes even tighter. I couldn’t bear to look at him. That’s it, I thought, it’s really over.
Suddenly, I felt Jack’s hand on my shoulder. I slowly looked up, and our eyes locked. In his, I saw our past, our present and the future I could only hope would be. I prayed that he saw the same.
Having said my piece, it was Jacks turn to speak. In the next few moments I would know exactly where we stood.
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