Avery and the Letter

Dear Avery,

I know that you will be both hurt and angry when you read this letter. I am sorry for that. I really hate ending our relationship this way, but I feel—in the deepest part of my heart—that moving out while you are at work is the best way to preserve what I pray will ultimately be a friendship. In time, I can only hope you that you will feel the same.

We both made a lot of mistakes during our time together. As I told you before, I have been very unhappy for a long time. In hindsight, I now understand that I did us both a grave disservice by not expressing that unhappiness sooner. Instead of communicating my feelings to you, I let them fester. What was once a great love for you devolved little by little each day to annoyance, irritation, anger, hatred and, ultimately, indifference.

As I take full responsibility for my part in the destruction of our relationship, I ask that you take responsibility for your own. You shut me out, Avery. Your words sting. You may not be aware of your actions, but you have repeatedly made me feel as though I was less than. You have done this each time you minimized my feelings, ignore my wishes and ridicule the profession when comparing it to yours. Eventually enough was enough.

I really was in love you. And I still do love you. Very much. Please know that I sincerely mean every word that I’ve written on this page. I hope you find someone who’ll make you happier than I did.  Until we meet again.

xxoo,

Jack

Avery Considers Homicide

Alright, so maybe I exaggerated a little. I didn’t exactly punch Jack in the beezer when he said, “I wish you the best,” after I told him I’d be buying the condominium myself. In fact, I didn’t punch him at all. Yes, I wanted to go postal. I wanted to pretend he was an annoying Chihuahua and I a gun wielding mail carrier. I wanted to him to feel as powerless, hopeless, confused and scared as he’d made me feel. But I didn’t.

Chris Rock once said—and I’m paraphrasing here—that you’ve never truly been in love unless you’ve considered committing homicide. I guess no one could ever accuse me of loving Jack.

“When will you move out?” I asked him.

“I don’t know. There’s so much to do before then.”

“That’s an understatement,” I replied.

Jack was correct. Lots needed to be done before we said our final goodbyes. Our CD collection needed to be divided. He needed to disassemble and remove his office desk and the other tacky furniture left over from his dorm days. I’d always hated that furniture. On more than one occasion I’d threatened to burn it. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.

“I just thought of something, Avery.”

He spoke slowly and quietly, as though he were choosing his words very carefully. I immediately tensed. The tone was that same he used when telling me that he no longer loved me. He spoke just as succinctly when he said that he’d be moving out of our home. He delivered his “yeah” just as softly when he confirmed that there was another man.

“Yes, Jack?” I held my breath and waited for the next in the list of bombshells I’d received in less than 48 hours.

“Well,” he slowly replied. I hated the way he was dragging out his words. The mix of anticipation and dread killed me. This was not going to be good.

“Get on with it,” I urged, unable to wait another second.

“Avery, I want to keep the cats.”

If Chris Rock’s words were true, I was more in love with Jack at that moment than I’d ever been.

Avery and His Series of Desperate Acts

All thoughts of the New York trip and my subsequent conversation with Jack vanished as I prepared to face him for the first time since he told me our relationship was over. I placed the silver Promise Box back on side table and sheepishly entered the bedroom, where Jack laid watching a bad science fiction series. He glanced upon my entrance.

“Hey,” he said and then turned back to his program. Hey? Hey? That’s the best you can do? I’ve been unable to function all day after you drop a bomb over breakfast, and all you can say is, “Hey?” I took a deep breath and asked him to turn off the television. A serious talk was in order.

Avery Versus the Doctors

I slowly turned the knob and opened the door. Save for the setting sun, there was no light in the apartment. The cats were nowhere to be found. I would’ve thought I were alone were it not for the sound of the television coming for our bedroom.